Are You Just Being Nice?
Deciphering compliments. To Write A Better Story.
I actively engage social media. Social media inspires me, educates, and entertains me. My favorite followers are other creators. I’m curious about what the leaders are reading, which new podcasts are gaining momentum, and where the writers are posting.
But I also follow:
as well as plant propagations
(Welcome to my brain.)
No matter the niche, I’ve noticed a common denominator among creators - writers especially. We’ve spent a lot of mental energy before hitting SUBMIT, doubting if our work is worthy of your attention.
Is my blog interesting? Is my creation inspiring? Will my work be influential? And we want it to be. We really, really want it to be meaningful. I kid you not, even as my fingers rest on this keyboard - for this very article - I am hesitant to believe anyone might like it.
And yet we create - and we hope - and all while the the voices in our head mock us.
I think about the book I want to write. Who would read it?
I script the stories I long to tell. Who cares what you have to say?
I think about what life has taught me, and I want to scream, “Grace! Grace!” at the top of my lungs as if you’re special.
“You may not be their cup of tea, but to someone else, you will be an entire ocean of everything that quenches their thirst and awakens their soul.”~ from HER. by Pierre Jeanty
Nonetheless, I HAVE had other women inspire me with their stories. I have read authors who’ve changed my life. I’ve BEEN motivated by the words of others. So maybe it’s not about being worthy or special; maybe it’s about being generous. Generous with our experiences, our stories, our words. Sharing not for recognition but for the sake of benevolent encouragement?
So, I write … restart the blog, tell a few people, and share to my socials all while holding my breath. Who do you think you are?
You know I am a little embarrassed to admit I’ve gotten all positive feedback. I’ve got subscribers, well-wishers, and questions like, “When will you write your book?” or “I wish you would do a podcast!”.
I wrestle with my thoughts: Should I? Could I? And as soon as I am ready to commit, that voice returns, and I convince myself everyone is just being ‘nice’?
Are you being nice? Because we could save me a lot of time if someone would just kindly wink and whisper, “Now, now dear. That’s enough of that,” to which I would promptly return to my massive piles of journals tucked high in my overflowing closet.
Write or propagate another plant?
Write or purge my closet?
Write or redecorate my house?
Eh. I think I’ll make a cup of tea and think about it while I scroll on my phone instead. …
Who am I kidding? I much prefer coffee.
…
Lastly, while my coffee is brewing, I have one more thought. I am convinced I am not alone in this experience. Each one of us, particularly women, has experienced (is experiencing) that voice of dissent. You’re not a good enough mom. You’re not worthy of love. People talk about you. You’ve failed before, so don’t even think about trying again.
Listen. To. Me.
Tell the voice inside your head to sit down and shut up. How do you know that voice is betraying you?
Here’s the test.
If that thought - that voice - dares you to be brave … you’re on. That’s the voice you nurture. If that voice in your head, in your mind, talking to you in the dark of the night causes that flushy feeling of shame to creep up your neck
and across your chest
and you forget to breathe
and you start making up scenarios … those thoughts need to be shut down.
This life that you’re building is meant to be one of love and grace and bravery. You’re meant to write your own story - maybe not on paper but across the hearts of those you love. When you live well, they live well. And you are doing a great job.
A-hem, well, my coffee’s done. Back to writing, huh?
p.s. This website “Substack” is subscription based. Likes, shares and follows really help my goal of publishing. If you enjoy my writing please subscribe and tell a friend. Thank you, Stephanie